Fables #36

A typical day in the occupied Homelands, as two goblin soldiers make the rounds collecting taxes. Sixty-three pence from every cottage and hut, no matter how poor they claim to be. The goblins camp out in the woods that night, roasting a lizard over a fire, when a horn is sounded from not far off. It's more than likely one of the captains having himself a nightly hunt, as they often do. But the other goblin gets spooked, what if it's not? There were whispers of a man, the black knight, who has been going around killing tax collectors such as they, and stealing the pence they collected. His companion believes they were likely just killed by their own captain, who then took the money for himself. But the spooked goblin doubts his friends comforting words, as does the mysterious cloaked figure who now stood in their camp. Boy Blue introduces himself as their legendary Black Knight, even though his cloak is more blue than black, but then he didn't pick the name. The Witching Cloak protected him from the goblin's sword and axe strikes. From within it he pulls out the Vorpal Sword, the very blade that slew the Jabberwock. With a snicker-snack, he beheads the goblins in a single blow.

Days later, in the mountainside mansion resides Governor-General Chernomor reading a poem about his exploits in the battle of Vesteri aloud to no one in particular. Boy Blue suddenly appears before him, having used the cloaks invisibility power to get past the guards. He reminds the good General that he was at the battle the poem spoke of, back when Chernomor was just a Captain, and it didn't at all happen the way it's written. Boy Blue's side won that day, not his. But he didn't come to set the record straight, but rather, to gain access to the General's library that held maps, charts, records, and all the boring world histories that he doesn't think Chernomor would be interested in. Boy Blue, with the power of the cloak, began to change his form to match General Chernomor's. He'll need some time to go through all the texts and maps, and he didn't want to keep being disturbed, and so-- Snicker-Snack! General Chernomor was sliced in half.

Two weeks later, the goblin guards on duty at one of the gates to another world are visited by General Chernomor and his first minister Kamarand, with a signed document to pass through. The captain of the guard finds it strange that the General would use this gate, as it's not the most direct route to the Imperial Throne Realm. But he is quickly silenced, told that it was not his place to question a superior. Chernomor tells Kamarand to take over control of this world until he returns, and to cut taxes by half nationwide. The General then disappears into the depths, the gate closing behind him.

Once he is alone, Boy Blue ends the charade, changing back to himself, wishing he had also made Kamarand teach every goblin to sing and tap-dance, and changed the official unit color to pink. Oh well, next time. The land before him was charred and empty. It was an indirect passage to the Adversary's realm, hardly ever used anymore. A barren world where only a few large creatures still live, hunting and eating each other. He transforms into a bird and flies above it, the quickest way to travel. Eventually, Blue reaches a cave, inside which should be the connecting gate he needs. The ground is littered with skeletal remains. Blue finds out why. A large red dragon, which Blue had hoped to be long dead, lives in the cave, and to the great beast, the small intruder is looking like a tasty snack.