Season 9

Complete listed story — includes the ending

1. Foisted!

Larry shows Jeff his finished script for a musical comedy he has been writing, Fatwa!, based on Salman Rushdie's life. Larry rids himself of an inept assistant ( Carrie Brownstein ) by suggesting her to Susie. Leon takes it upon himself to become Larry's new assistant. Larry gives his unwanted opinions about a lesbian wedding, causing disastrous results for the couple; and offends Richard by not being empathetic that his parakeet has died. When Larry goes on Jimmy Kimmel Live! to promote Fatwa!, Larry does an impression of the Ayatollah. The next day, news breaks that the actual Ayatollah, angered by the impression, has issued a fatwa against Larry.

2. The Pickle Gambit

Larry, having assumed the alias "Buck Dancer" and wearing a disguise (a wig and a mustache) in public, returns home after living in a hotel due to the fear of the fatwa. Larry argues with the hotel concierge about their policy regarding using tongs to pick up the free cookies in the lobby. Marty brings his nephew Kenny, an All-American pitcher, to Larry's house and Kenny ends up breaking his elbow when trying to open a pickle jar. This prevents him from masturbating, which causes him to behave badly from the sexual frustration. Larry suggests they a hire a prostitute ( Bianca Kajlich ) for Kenny, whom Larry recently met at the hotel, and to whom he gave unexpectedly helpful advice about toning down her attire to attract a better class of client. Ted Danson, who has recently divorced his wife Mary Steenburgen, asks for Larry's permission to date Cheryl. Leon hires a security guard for Larry, who is scared for his life. Larry gets help from one of his old lovers, Shara, who puts him in touch with the Consul of Iran, but things go awry when Leon and his guard interrupt Larry's meeting.

3. A Disturbance in the Kitchen

Larry is annoyed at a restaurant manager ( Rich Fulcher ) who refuses to tell him the specifics of the "disturbance" in the kitchen, which is causing his and Jeff's food to be delayed. Susie is worried about her " little sister " who has gone missing and not returned home. Larry is given a ticket after he honks at the police car stopped in front of him at a green light. Larry contests the ticket in court, but loses, at least partly because of his behavior. Larry seeks advice from Salman Rushdie (played by himself) about his fatwa situation. Larry takes his advice to live normally, and removes his disguise. As Rushdie predicts, he becomes very attractive to women because he is "dangerous," and catches the attention of actress Elizabeth Banks.

4. Running with the Bulls

In therapy, Larry sees Dr. Templeton ( Bryan Cranston ) about his fatwa, but finds himself more occupied with how comfortable Dr. Templeton's chair is versus his own. Larry and Jeff go to Richard's art opening, where they learn from Marty that Kenny was killed by being trampled by bulls after following the prostitute to Spain. Larry remains mum about his involvement with introducing Kenny to the prostitute. Jeff begins an affair with a real estate agent. When Susie confronts him after being told by someone that he was seen with a woman in a car, Jeff claims he is house shopping. Later, Susie becomes suspicious of Jeff and makes him buy the new home the agent shows them. At Kenny's memorial service, Larry mistakenly believes he sees a fatwa assassin, which causes everyone to panic and run out of the building in the middle of the service.

5. Thank You for Your Service

Larry is tired of having to listen to Sal, the golf club's gate attendant, every time he drives to the security gate. In the golf club restaurant, Larry offends a fellow member, Ken, when he remarks that Ken's new baby looks a little Asian, despite both parents being white. Larry goes on a date with his mail carrier ( Katie Aselton ), but after things go wrong, he wants to "reset" their relationship back to homeowner and mailwoman. At the golf club, Larry also offends Sal by trying to "reset" their relationship. The club's owner, Mr. Takahashi, learns of Larry's remarks about Ken's child. He summons Larry to his office and tells him to expect a letter "soon" from the club about consequences, which leads to an argument about the meaning of "soon." However, Larry's mail carrier, offended by his attempted "reset," has stopped delivering his mail. At a dinner party at Jeff and Susie's, Larry offends Sammi's Afghanistan War veteran fiancé Victor when he does not join all the others in saying in turn as they meet him, "Thank you for your service." To make amends, Larry invites him to a Revolutionary War reenactment at the golf club. However, at the reenactment, Sal starts firing live cannonballs at Larry, triggering Victor's war memories. Larry later discovers Mr. Takahashi kissing Ken's wife, ending any possible ban from the club.

6. The Accidental Text on Purpose

Larry gives relationship advice to both Richard and Marty when they get in trouble with their new girlfriends, Rhonda ( Andrea Savage ) and Marilyn ( Elizabeth Perkins ). Larry also helps Jeff mend a problem, with the idea of sending an "accidental text on purpose." Larry ends up offending both Rhonda and Marilyn, who give them an ultimatum–Larry or them. Richard and Marty both choose their girlfriends, but Rhonda and Marilyn become wise to Larry's plan (including the "accidental text on purpose") and end their relationships.

7. Namaste

Larry and Leon go to a hot yoga class, where Larry is kicked out for not saying " namaste." Leon gets the phone number of the instructor ( Alison Becker ). In the parking lot, Larry hits a car and leaves a note. Susie informs Larry that one of her friends, Bridget ( Lauren Graham ), is interested in dating him. Larry offends Jeff's mechanic, remarking that he did not expect him to be black after talking on the phone with him. Larry has a harsh exchange over the phone with the man ( Marc Evan Jackson ) whose car he hit. When the man comes to Larry's house, Leon answers the door, and the man quickly apologizes and says he will pay for the damages. Larry goes on a date with Bridget, and they have a great time. At her home, the date is interrupted by her son Eddie, who is immediately hostile to Larry and whom Bridget says has undiagnosed Asperger's. To fix the problem with the mechanic, Larry claims to be on the " spectrum " to explain his previous rude behavior, resulting in the mechanic changing attitude completely, offering to fix his car immediately, free of charge. Larry gets a text from Bridget to come over because they will be home alone, but Larry is without a car and cannot take an Uber because he recently offended a Romanian Uber driver by saying that Romanian women are ugly and as a result has a low Uber rating. Larry boards a bus, but soon argues with the driver, who kicks him off.

8. Never Wait for Seconds!

Cesar, a handyman, fixes a humming in Larry's office. In return, Larry offers a tip, but Cesar refuses. However, Cesar continually asks Larry for favors. Bridget tells Larry she is considering sending Eddie to a boarding school, Larry happily tells her he will put in a good word. Larry and Bridget meet Marty and Marilyn (now back together) for lunch, and Larry apologizes to Marilyn for his previous behavior. However, he ends up commenting on Marilyn's excessive use of ketchup. At the buffet line, Larry defends a man who cuts in line, because he is going for seconds, and believes he should not have to wait. The man is a devout Muslim and offers his help to Larry regarding his fatwa. Larry meets with admissions representatives at Pemberton Academy to talk about Eddie, and if his relationship with Bridget will be long-term. Larry asks them a favor: if Cesar and his family could use their pool. Bridget later learns that Eddie was not accepted, due to the condition in which Cesar and his family left the Pemberton Academy pool. The Muslim man, Morsi, interviews people from Larry's past, and later puts him in front of a panel of muftis, who agree to recommend the Ayatollah rescind the fatwa.

9. The Shucker

Larry's fatwa is revoked and his musical is back on, but only if Lin-Manuel Miranda is involved. At a dinner party at Larry's house, the oyster shucker ( Steven Weber ) overhears Larry say he fell asleep during Hamilton. In his exchange for his silence, the shucker demands tickets to Hamilton. Larry and Jeff meet with Lin to discuss the musical, and Larry ends up giving in to all of Lin's creative demands. Lin gets tickets for Larry, but only after Larry says they're for him, after originally requesting tickets for his shucker. Lin tells Larry he will be sitting next to his wife, so he will know if Larry's there or not. Jeff begins wearing the cowboy hat that the shucker left at Larry's house, which turns Susie on. After Larry gives back the hat to the shucker, Susie spots him with the hat on, and they later have a short affair. The previous owner of Larry's house, Mrs. Shapiro, begins reappearing at the house, much to Larry's annoyance, and ends up stealing a dying plant. Larry and Mrs. Shapiro go on Judge Judy, but Larry loses the case because now the plant is in much better condition. After Larry learns that Bridget has been telling intimate details about her previous relationships, he tries to make her sign a non-disclosure agreement while in bed. This does not go well, and Bridget breaks up with him. At the Hamilton performance, Larry ends up falling asleep next to Lin's wife.

10. Fatwa!

Larry and Jeff watch the rehearsals for Fatwa!, which are going great. Larry plans a paintball game for the cast and crew, which gets him many thank-you's. Larry has dinner reservations with Jeff, Susie and Marty, but the hostess refuses to seat them because Marty is not there yet. In response, Larry asks a random woman to join them as a stand-in. Lin and Larry get into a creative argument over a scene that Lin doesn't think is working, but Larry believes it's because the attractive sign language interpreter with large breasts is causing a distraction. Larry clashes with F. Murray Abraham, who plays the Ayatollah, when he thinks Murray is "outfit-tracking" him because he wore the same pants two days in a row. Larry agrees to let Lin's cousin Valentina ( Tipper Newton ) and her husband stay at his house, and Larry is dissatisfied with Lin's "thank you". Unbeknownst to Larry, the couple are swingers and end up trashing Larry's house. The day of the paintball game is the same day as Sammi's wedding, but Larry promises to be there because he is delivering a speech. At the paintball game, Larry expresses his frustration over Lin's family, saying that they abused his hospitality. Lin challenges him to a paintball duel, where Larry accidentally shoots him in the mouth. Larry accompanies him to the hospital and misses Sammi's wedding. Larry calls the stand-in actress and has her make his speech at the wedding. Due to Lin's injury, he cannot perform for six months, which puts an end to the musical. The next day, Larry is spotted by an Iranian man on the street, who doesn't know the fatwa has been revoked and begins chasing him.