In the middle of a typical in-law squabble, Dharma and Greg answer an emergency call and rush to hospital. There they find a partially immobilized Pete, who has dislocated both shoulders in a bizarre car accident. Greg is not too pleased at Dharma's offer to nurse Pete back to health, and after a traumatic visit to Pete's apartment to pick up his cat gives her far too much insight into Pete's life (or lack thereof) Dharma finds herself committed to cleansing her house guest both physically and spiritually. Meanwhile, Kitty convinces Abby's "Save the Ducks" fund raising committee that rather than making $800 with a bake sale, they can raise $80,000 with a fancy celebrity dinner featuring "Alan Alda, or one of the Baldwin boys." Trouble is when the event gets under way, the celebrity turns out to be not exactly environmentally aware Andrew Dice Clay. Jane becomes addicted to the one acceptable item in Pete's apartment: his vibrating, um, massage chair; and Pete's final act of chauvinism, involving beautiful twin masseuses who live above a liquor store, leaves him in a very embarrassing position indeed.
Spoilers ahead. Coverage follows the scope labeled below.
Complete story — includes the ending
Dharma and Greg receive a call that Pete has been in a car accident. When they arrive at the hospital, they find a partially immobilized Pete, who has dislocated both shoulders. Pete explains that he leaped from the car to avoid a confrontation with his date. Greg is initially opposed to Dharma's suggestion that they nurse Pete back to health at their apartment, but eventually agrees. After an eye-opening visit to Pete's apartment to feed his cat, Dharma commits to helping him heal both physically and spiritually. Meanwhile, Kitty becomes involved in Abby's "Save the Ducks" efforts and convinces her that the only way to raise a large amount of money is to throw an elaborate fund-raising dinner, where a celebrity will be honored. Instead of "Alan Alda or one of the Baldwin boys", as Abby imagines, the only celebrity available is comedian Andrew Dice Clay. As Clay delivers his acceptance speech, the event - which is held at the birds' spawning location - is inundated with ducks, causing everyone to flee.