Plot summary
Ian (Cameron Monaghan) is in prison, where he becomes a leader for the gay inmates. Fiona (Emmy Rossum) tries desperately in bailing him out, but Ian is actually happy with his new role. Frank (William H. Macy) has been sleeping with many mothers at the PTA in Hopkins Academy, and also seizes the opportunity to steal some of their silverware.
Lip (Jeremy Allen White) has Xan (Amirah Johnson) moving in with the Gallaghers. He attends Brad and Cami's wedding, and flirts with Cami's sister, Tami (Kate Miner). They have sex, although Lip is unstatisfied by the experience after Tami vomits on his shoe. Debbie (Emma Kenney) works as a welder at a construction, but is dismayed to learn that she is being paid less than her male co-workers despite working the exact same amount of hours. Her boss, Jacob (Glenn Plummer), states it is because Debbie constantly uses the bathroom, so she is forced to wear an adult diaper to work.
Carl (Ethan Cutkosky) is still in military school with two days left in his service, and is hoping to get a recommendation to go to West Point. His superior agrees to a promotion if he can get rid of Kassidi (Sammi Hanratty), who has been camping outside the school awaiting for his return.
The PTA is called by the Academy, where a doctor places them in quarantine. He reveals that there has been an increase in STD in the PTA and asks everyone to test themselves. Those infected are forced to stay to get administered antibiotics, requiring them to stay the night. As the doctor asks them over possible affairs, everyone is revealed to have cheated on their partner, with most women pointing that they slept with Frank. Frank defends his actions by claiming they will be immune to new diseases, and also acts as a marriage counselor when tensions arise. They are released by morning, with a parent kicking Frank in the crotch for sleeping with his wife.
To pay Ian's bail, Fiona gets the apartment building appraised. Ford (Richard Flood) disapproves of Fiona's decision, as he believes Ian is too impulsive. Fiona grows concerned when she finds out Ford has a second phone; Ford claims it is an international phone used to call his mom. Veronica (Shanola Hampton) and Kevin (Steve Howey) struggle in getting their children to sleep, until Kevin exhausts them by playing with them at night. Brad (Scott Michael Campbell) suggests Lip should ask Tami out at her saloon, but she brutally rejects him. Due to the smell of the diaper, Jacob finally agrees to get an equal payment to Debbie. Carl finds out that a fellow cadet, wanting to help Carl, had killed Kassidi and buried her body, shocking him.
Credits
Adapted from Wikipedia contributors, Are You There Shim? It's Me, Ian. Paragraphs and formatting adjusted; illustrations, reference markers, block quotations and non-story material omitted.