Plot summary
Early accidentally attends a pride parade in Atlanta, mistaking it for a celebration of Charlie Pride. At the parade, Early protests gay marriage, asking "what's next, you're gonna marry a paint can?" Granny eggs him on, and Early stages a wedding for himself and a paint can. Dan Halen supports Early on behalf of his "fundamentalist chicken restaurant, Chicken On the Cross", and tells Early to marry an Appalachian black bear. They organize a "straight pride" parade, culminating in Early marrying a bear. At the wedding Early reluctantly kisses the bear, and ultimately enjoys doing so, but nevertheless complains about the bears breath, prompting the bear to attack him. Later at the hospital, the bear is admitted because of spousal visitation rights, and attacks Early again. Theme song performer: Neko Case
Credits
Adapted from Wikipedia contributors, List of Squidbillies episodes. HTML formatting and reference markers removed.